A Crazy Saturday (and Friday for that matter)

Hmm...where to start...maybe with some backstory? Nah. Too long winded. (Like what I've written below isn't long winded) Let's just say that when I called the guy to pick up his dumpster, he should have done it sooner than a month later. We'll get back to that.

There is (was) a stump in the back yard that was right on the property line. I broached the subject of getting it removed with the neighbors and they were all for it. We needed to remove it to have a 2-car parking area. They needed it gone so they could one day put a sandbox if they have children.

This led me to ask the dumpster guy if he was interested in giving me a quote, as he is a landscaper, when he picked up the dumpster. He said sure. A month rolled by and the contractor said that he had a tractor and he would come and try to remove it on Saturday. Sweet. I was tired of waiting and, if it didn't get removed soon, it would hold up the job.

So early Saturday morning the contractor shows up with a little bobcat tractor. I expressed my doubts about being able to remove it before but now I was almost certain it wasn't going to happen. The contractor gets to work tearing up the grass to prepare the parking area and then attempts to remove the stump. He failed. Quickly. And broke the tractor to boot. Now I get to pay guys to stand around and fix a tractor. Awesome.

After the contractor fails, he asks me if I know anybody who has a stump grinder. You know, 'cause everybody knows somebody with a stump grinder. Yet, as some of you who know me will not be surprised, I DID know somebody with a stump grinder - The Landscaper. I call the landscaper and he tells me that his stump grinder is broken. Bummer.

He asks me to clarify the size of the stump. I tell him it is a massive melding of three large trees. He tells me he has an excavator that will do the trick and will let me know in an hour if he can do it that day. Sweet.

While I wait for his call back, I run to Home Depot to rent a compactor to compact the dirt that will be under our patio. I get there and discover that one is rented and the other is broken. On to another Home Depot. They don't have one either...but wait what is that...hmm...it looks like a different kind of compactor...better call the contractor.

Turns out, I was looking for the wrong kind of compactor and they have one. I rent it and run back to the job. An hour later.

While I was at Home Depot, the Landscaper called. Laughing. "Man, I'll tell you, when you do it, you do it right." This is a reference to yesterday that apparently is continuing into today. He tells me that this is a major job. I knew that. I tried to convey that to the contractor. He didn't believe me. Neither did the landscaper for that matter. This stump was ginormous. (Would you believe spell check didn't mark that as misspelled?)

So the landscaper gets to work a little before noon and after an hour asks me if I have a chainsaw. Man, if I had what I needed, I wouldn't need to know people who had what I needed. That's my art. Off to Home Depot again. The closer one this time. Guess what? They have a chainsaw. They also have the compactor I rented from the farther away Home Depot. Grrr.

I rent the chainsaw and, on my drive back to the house, the landscaper calls to ask if I could get a stump grinder instead. Cue frustration. I make a u-turn and head back. I return the chainsaw and discover that they don't have a stump grinder and the nearest one is a half-hour away. Shit. I call the landscaper and he says don't worry about it just bring back the chainsaw. "!&@#*!"

As I rent the chainsaw I just returned, amidst the chuckles from the employees, I begin to realize that I am not owning this day. I am getting owned. I have been on overdrive for over 4 hours and there is no sign of it letting up.

So, while I am running all over getting all of the things needed...progress is slowly being made. Steph is with me experiencing what I go through roughly three times a week and she doesn't like it one bit. Neither do I but you gotta do it. However, this was one of the most hectic stressful days of the entire job to date.

Back to the stump - the landscaper gets the chainsaw, makes some cuts, hits dirt, ruins the chain. It lasted like 10 minutes. Oh well, at least he made a couple of cuts. Shit - gotta go return the compactor. Easiest thing I did all day.

When I get back, the stump is out. It is easily 6 feet in diameter and weighs over 1,000 lbs. I tried to tell him.

While I wait for him to load up all the debris, I come to the realization, he isn't taking the debris. ARG!!! I sweet talk him into at least taking the stump because I have no way on Earth to move it. (Rastafarians apparently like cash and vegan sushi)

So now the stump is gone. There is still debris but I will remove that over the next couple of days. He told me that it was the biggest stump he had ever removed. Also, he was going to send me a card commemorating it. He said that the stump was only outdone by the heaviest dumpster he had ever picked up - which just happened to be mine also - and was only dealt with the day before. As he said, when I do it, I do it right.

Concerning the dumpster, a quick summary - 30 yard container, filled to the tippy top with 6 weeks worth of stuff, picked up 4 weeks late, so heavy it lifted the front of the truck off the ground 15 feet.

It was such an amazing feat that I am more sorry than you could possibly know that I did not get it on camera or video. I was too amazingly terrified to move for fear that I would miss the disaster that was about to occur. This story deserves more details and if you ask nicely, I'll write another meandering post.

Ciao.